Dear IRS,
I'm writing you to discuss the simplification of my personal taxes. See, I want to pay my taxes. I'm thrilled to give you my money in exchange for the right to work, live, and own property in the United States. I couldn't be happier about the arrangement we have going here. My challenge is this, I just can't figure out how much money to give you.
I know how much money I made last year exactly, and I know exactly how much was withheld from my paycheck and given to you. I just can't seem to figure out what that is worth to you. It appears that I will need to fill out the following forms to figure this out.
- 1040
- 740mp
- Colorado Partial Year
- 740 full year
- Schedule A
- 3903
- Schedule E
- 4562
- Schedule M
- Schedule D
Is this really necessary? I'm an honest guy, and have no desire to cheat you out of any money. How much do you need? Do you need to have about 10% of what I made? 15%? 20%?
If you really want me to fill out all of these forms I will, but hey it's me, Phil. We've done business together for years. You know me, I know you. Just tell me how much I owe you, and I'll give it to you.
It doesn't have to be a flat tax, but couldn't it at least be simple?
Your Favorite Tax Payer,
Phil
